It's not like it seems in the fog. There's an entire horizon that was hiding behind the blur, the mask, the lies, the ego, the inflated realities. To be where the divine lives that's where we can see. We're never alone, not even in the isolation periods when we're exploring, discovering and finding our path. Traveling through time and space. Wandering the past and uniting with the you of the future. Mending beyond a cellular level that which was torn away and delivering it into the light. Connecting and trusting the unfolding, the becoming. Welcoming the abundance. Move like nature moves amidst the change. Blossom.
I feel like starting and ending the blog there because that's the single most valuable advice when it comes to mastering the art of yoga, surfing, or life- Uninterrupted Daily Consistent Practice. A new teacher who has been guiding me, Irene Pappas says, "There are no shortcuts, only baby steps to consistency. Fall in love with the journey because really that's all there is."
Giving it away
There's something about sharing that keeps me moving forward. I remember the day Lezele looked at me and saw that I could put my feet flat on the ground while in downward dog, which is not easy considering most people have to work at having flexible hamstrings and since my home practice has wavered I'll need a few days, or weeks of consistent practice to get that back. Even Lezele who most certainly is a gifted yoga girl, has to work towards hamstring flexibility. She was really impressed and asked me how I did that. I told her, "because I've been practicing every single day." That was the day she began practicing daily and THAT is what got her to where she is now doing scorpion pose and handstands. She is teaching and guiding me now. That is the way it works when you give it all away. Having the ability to pay forward what I gain from my strength training was a game changer. The way to have that capability with yoga would be to take the leap and do the training to advance my practice and be able to teach others. I've been talking about a teacher training for years. I wrote in my journal and in my blog, that I would give myself two years to prepare for a yoga teacher training and in March of 2016 it will be two years. Time is such an illusion. Where does it go?
November is for Nurturing Dreams- it's my birthday month so there's no better time to begin again. Even when we're living our dreams we still have to be sure to nurture them if we want to keep them alive. They are constantly evolving just like everything else.
What I realized about myself is that right as things start getting good and just before things take off, I stop. It might be stress, time, pain, fear, distractions, autoimmune disease, or something else, but I stop and then have to start all over again. I convince myself that first I need to eat cleaner, get healthier, shrink my breasts, make stronger abs and THEN I'll practice again. But, when I see my teachers practicing in a cast, or after back surgery, despite traveling and being in tight spaces- I know I'm making things up when I convince myself to stop. There's never a reason not to try even if it's the laziest practice known to man for a day, or more- it's still better to do it.
That's exactly the time to keep going just when I feel like stopping. Pushing past the obstacle of wanting to give up may not feel or look graceful at first, but afterwards there's a glow that everyone will see and feel. I think that is what feeds whatever that universal energy is we all share. That's a reason not to stop.
I'm recommitting to an uninterrupted daily yoga practice. Developing a strong personal practice, or home practice has always been super important to me. Doing this prior to finding a teacher to take me through my training was always my vision. Although I may face sickness from the cleansing taking place, pain from the metamorphosis taking place, this time I WILL NOT STOP. No matter how ugly it gets I'm going to push through to the other side of that barrier and of that suffering. I'll be sharing that with all of you.
These are my baby steps to consistency. I believe that what we choose to focus on becomes our reality and that we can create any reality we choose. Over the next two months I'll be breathing in my new story and breathing out the old.
Who wants to enter into 2016 feeling really empowered and and commit to a daily practice with me for the rest of the year, then keep going?
I truly feel that I'm returning to my origins when I'm near the sea. For as long as I can remember, I would play the sounds of ocean waves at night to help me fall asleep. Now I fall asleep with my window open and listen to the Atlantic ocean.
The universe is so in tune that even a passing thought can be heard. My intention was not to move to Surf City, Long Beach Island, but this hanging in my bedroom makes me know something mystical brought us here. The plan I had in mind was to move closer to my office in University City in order to finish up working on a study for Upenn before my big departure next summer, but the wind had something else in mind.
Lately, more than ever I've been drawn to what makes me come alive. I actually don't do "intentions". I ride this rhythm that I can't really express in words. I have the support of my tribe now so it doesn't even feel bold, or brave, or daring, or like I'm doing something out of the ordinary. I'm living my life. I'm listening to the voice inside of me and taking action on what I hear. I'm living from my heart and trusting that even if I fall I can always rise up again. It's how I realized who I loved and how to love him and be loved by him. It's how my daughter's health has returned. It's everything.
We discovered this bliss of an island over the summer when Justine suggested I check out Barnegat Light House. I haven't found a beach that I really connected with since we returned from Florida to the Northeast. With a giant Ron Jon surf shop and this vast, secluded beach with cities named "Surf City" and "Ship Bottom" I instantly fell in love. I mean come on it sounds like Sponge Bob Square Pants and who the hell doesn't want to live under the sea in a pineapple?
A loud "get out of here for awhile" echoing in my head one sleepless night in Washington Square West was what led me to discovering our new home in Surf City. All of us were craving more health, sea air and serenity. Washington Square West, Queen Village, Society Hill, all stunning, classy, historic, friendly neighborhoods in Philadelphia near Pennsylvania hospital and the heart of the city, but I wouldn't describe it as peaceful. My lungs have been persistently requesting salty, clean air with diagnosis like, "exercise induced asthma", I got the hint. While searching for our next home I ran across a lake house that was renting for the winter at a really low rate. I couldn't understand why it was so cheap. BUT, turns out there are a TON of OFF SEASON rentals that are gorgeous and can be rented for an astoundingly low rate for the winter. Apparently the beach is not as stunning during the winter? That's news to me. Just yesterday our neighbors pitched giant tents on the beach, drove their jeeps near the breaks, with their surf boards and fishing poles in the back. With water boots, beach chairs and blankets, they spent the entire day on the beach, catching and later cooking their dinner. This is living.
I am now saving $500 on a 3 bedroom, fully furnished gorgeous home and get to squish my toes in the sand every day, watch the sunrise and sunset as I run barefoot through the still warm water. I won't ever rent unfurnished again! My home on 7th and Lombard was $500 more and half the size. I'm still trying to clear out all the furniture. I'm breathing the fresh air once again and gazing at stars all while still getting to enjoy the vibrant city life in Philadelphia during the week. I will always love the buzz of the city. That will never change, but I knew I needed a place where I can think and focus on building my new health and fitness business. Being part of a number two team comes with its own buzz. Who knew it could save me money, make me money and save my health to chase my dreams. To think this all started with my daddy Dean's surfboard, a return of my loved one's illnesses and the frustration that comes with not living your life to the fullest. I'm never turning back. I can't wait to tell you where we will be headed in June! What's your dream?