Wounded Warriors⎈

“When we honor both our darkness, and our light, it puts a sort of shield around us. You are still soft as petals sisters, even when you embrace your fiercest warrior self.” - Sarah

“When we honor both our darkness, and our light, it puts a sort of shield around us. You are still soft as petals sisters, even when you embrace your fiercest warrior self.” - Sarah

by Sarah K. Grundy

“Give me a wounded warrior and I’m falling all over the floor,“ said my past self.

There’s been this conversation with myself lately. It starts like this, “Sarah, be fair to yourself, you held this man, and this man only, close to your heart for 7 years of your life.”

The road to forgiving myself feels heavy at times, and other times, like I’m a true warrior on a chariot with my sword full of flames as I burn the hope I had for this mystical bond. Hope lost stings hotter than the loss of the person. We’re all craving to see more humanity and when that dies in your most intimate connections, it’s painful.

The signs were always there - a fakeness, he would be more than willing to perpetuate - a woundedness he would steal to heal and the lack of ability to be vulnerable. But, we love. That’s just what we do, we love and they know. I wanted him to heal as much as I wanted me to heal. He knew that and used it as a gateway to take what was mine to give.

“Give me a wounded warrior and I’m falling all over the floor,“ said my past self.

I could go quietly and watch idly by as other women are violated in this same way. I could go quietly and not speak of what I know, as to not ruffle my soft petals with sharp blades.

I could go quietly.

I could lie to myself and say, I didn’t want him to prove to me he was different. “Show me that not every single last island man on the planet is like this - lies, cheats, steals from the divine, spreading it all over town, with no remorse on the horizon. Show me you are different than those other vampires.”

I could lie.

I could make excuses, or be afraid to call out that part for fear of sounding crazy. I could say, I did not defend him to myself, to close friends and family. I could say, I had lessons to learn, or some sort of left over wounds to heal, or maybe a soul journey to travel with this man.

I could make excuses.

But, the truth in my heart says, he worked very hard to win me over for his ego, for his jar of hearts, and he did. He entered as an impostor does, with lies.

The truth will set your heart free.

I could make myself feel better and say, “I was writing a book and so I wasn’t paying attention - maybe it was the drama feeding the romantic thriller that I liked. He had cancer, I was battling my health and my daughters, he would not put me, her, or himself at risk that way. I was island hopping, soul searching, focusing on myself, healing, raising twins, he’s healing his soul, he’s in training for his cycling…”

I could make myself feel better.

I could lie too.

Lying is not a special quality, like telling the truth is, but when the sun sets, and darkness shines its light on the moon, it’s just me with me to face. My vision has to get brighter. My eyes wider. My everything higher - even amidst a deeply transformative healing phase, when things just move a little slower.

Elevate. Never. To. Be. Lowered. Again.

“Do not give me a wounded warrior who will steal my might to heal his battle cries. I’m not here to fall all over the floor,“ says my present self.

**disclosure: I’m a romantic, a fiction writer and a deeply feeling dramatic, writing from the heart, but Broken is not Bad. Meanwhile neither is Truth and being broken does not give anyone a pass to violate others. No matter what the truth looks like - it gives us all wings and sets our hearts free. We are all Wounded and Healing together. Not everyone will take advantage of that love and that process, but more than we may think will try.

Love one another.

Listen to your heart, but also that beating instinct deep within.

Copy of Enter your text (9).PNG

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Staying Open♒︎

AfterlightImage (36).jpg

Last time, just before his attempts to break her, she fled from his retched claws, scratched and bleeding waves of Green as the deep Blue sea surrounded her with tridents. His wicked slaves could not see her, she was hidden safely within the tigers eye.

I remember now, why it’s so difficult to stay open. The hot lava sting of pain has been pouring on me; From the moon, the global injustices, from those I once held near and dear to my heart. It’s easy to want to run from the fiery embers and yet there is something sweet in the burning surrender.

Sitting with the pain, acknowledging it in ourselves and those around us, rather than ignoring it, or being afraid of it. Feeling it, holding it close, listening to its dark messages and allowing it to burn its sweet truths through to our very souls.

The pain holds a great power if we can allow it to ache until it channels its message to us. I think that is the rebirth - when we don’t lock away our pain, but rather hear what it has come to tell us and alchemize it into the world.

Tell your tales sweet sisters and brothers.

I love you.

stay salty + divine, xo

-Sarah

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Betrayal: The Impostor⎈

AfterlightImage (8).jpg

by Sarah K. Grundy

The scars left by the worst kind of betrayal are seen in a loss of your ability to trust yourself. You no longer know truth from lies, fact from fiction, or good from bad. It has been stolen from you. If you can find a way to forgive yourself, you may be able to return the pain that was never yours, take back your love and rebuild.

The betrayer is an impostor. They portray those meant to be in your life. The design of an impostor is to enter at your most powerful points, while caressing your weakest. Your humanity, love, tenderness, innocence, pleasure points, your keen feminine and masculine senses all become a gateway for the impostor.

When deception cuts this deep, it can take everything from you and all you have left is revenge.

This is not a story about happy endings.

⎈S A L T, the novel underway by Sarah K. Grundy

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

The all seeing eye𓂀

AfterlightImage (35).jpg

Break the pattern, Return home to this body to this breath.

by Sarah K. Grundy

I decided.

I will love anyway. I will keep saying, “I love you” to everyone I meet, until it reaches so many that the words are realized to be 3 of many that mean, I see you. I feel you. I believe in you. I cherish you. I respect you. I hold you close to my heart.

That is Humanity.

And yet those words are different than these. Yes, you may enter. You have my heart. I choose you. I am yours. You are mine. We are one. I will protect you. I feel safe. I honor you. It is only you. I trust you. I believe you. Yes, you may enter.

That is Becoming One.

Because, there is nothing casual about two people joining - bringing their lips together, where a little bit of their souls and hearts live. It creates a fire storm. A destiny. The bond is real. It is alive. It holds great powers of both darkness and light.

When we violate each other, the universe knows, with her all seeing eye. Her purification process breaks the pattern. You are protected by the universe.

That is a Law of Nature.

I love you. Love each other.

stay salty + divine, S xo

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

𓆸A return to softness𓆸

58375281_10218676811376302_1016620120467832832_n.jpg

by Sarah K. Grundy

Remembering the ways she was soft haunt her in both her waking and resting hours. Her gentle nature could be felt like a dew drop on a morning lotus. When she was still alive, with a heart beat, a belief in something good, her breath, which is now replaced with grief, moved mountains. She would do anything if she could only still feel, love, or trust again. There was an unstoppable hope inside of her light before.

While moving swiftly forward with a renewed gait born of her own resilience, an avalanche fell in front of her trapping her in a stand still. She collapsed to the ground with no choice left, but to be soft. To be vulnerable. To embrace her new softness, a forever wounded and broken heart.

This is not a story about happy endings.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Footprints𓂀

4AA4CA3E-A00E-41C8-AC69-8D474D08B68C (1).JPG

by Sarah K. Grundy

Some run away from their guilt, like some run from the truth. They shed their conscience until there’s no conscience left at all. Regardless, guilt will remain a powerful affliction and truth will find its way to the surface. Truth needs no acknowledgment to live, breathe and triumph. Guilt needs no invitation to weave a web not soon forgotten. You can try to turn your back on guilt and truth, but that’s when the shadows sneak up on you from behind and eat you alive. 

A trail of footprints behind the guilty is the lantern truth will use to deliver its vengeance. Revenge holds no power over the vengeance of truth. Even if that truth has been hidden, or ignored for a very long time.

When the truth finds you, hold on tight. It is here to set you free. There are truth’s not easy to admit knowing and guilt that’s easier to feed on than feel remorse.

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, ”god has given you one face and you make yourselves another. The battle between these two halves of identity, who we are, and who we pretend to be, is unwinnable." Just as there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every person. One that we reveal to the world and another we keep hidden inside. A duality governed by the balance of darkness, and light. Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil. But, those who are able to blur the moral dividing line have the power to harm you and they will enjoy it.

For the innocent, the truth may hold a reward, but for the guilty, it’s only a matter of time before the truth delivers what they truly deserve.

This is not a story about happy endings.

Read S A L T, Chapter 1, romantic thriller novel underway amidst real life events.

Untitled Design.PNG

Image Salt Store and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

♾There are messages in the breath between Lovers♾

by Sarah K. Grundy

It’s 1:11 am as she chokes on shock, trauma and tears, sending her into postures that resemble flames. Numerology calls to her at 3:33 am singing, “the masters are with you.” Maybe when she can feel again she will see. All that’s left is sharp pain and chronic rip tides resurrected from where she buried them, laced with daggers, thrashing through her heart and soul refusing to be ignored, this time.

Waves of nausea thicken as flashes of memories she can taste, smell and touch show no mercy, dragging her to a dark and now lonely place. She begs for it to stop and fears she’ll never escape, as the clock rings 4:44 am vibrating, “you are surrounded with a divine protection.” Maybe when she can feel again she will see.

With a blood line connection to the earth, her heart pounds with endless flames of fire as she remembers, when the sun rises, 2000 armed forces will be coming to remove the protective barrier created by her loved ones who are shielding the sanctity of her land. The blood splattered from an adjacent desecrated forest still stains her sheets and her blade’s warm to prove it.

The land being violated and her innocence exploited feel related, and as she turns the corner into a field of crows singing their song of death, endings and rebirth, the clock strikes 5:55 am, “trust in this grand transition, you are in the final stages of battle.” Maybe when she can feel again she will see.

The weight of the crimes happening in our intimate partnerships magnify in their impact because of what we’re facing in the world today. If we can’t trust and believe in the sweet kisses on our lips, while the world burns, the breath shared between two lovers as their hearts touch, while children cry, or the magnetism that draws us together, while the sea retaliates- what can we trust? What can we believe in?

Maybe when we can feel again we will see.

This is not a story about happy endings, S A L T

I love you, and I promise you can always trust my kisses. xo

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Instincts

IMG_7582.JPG

by Sarah K. Grundy

I'm hearing women 
call each other, 
"crazy", 
too frequently, 
while in truth, 
something and someone else 
is behind the story unraveling, the battles unwinding.
.
I'm not exempt from doing it. 
I understand victim mentality and 
defending your "attacker" is a thing. 
But, why is that?
.

Watch for the way they will weaken you, play women against each other and prepare for what they have planned next.
The only reason for him to "kick you while you're down", is to "go in for the kill."

Trust your instincts over everything.

I love you.

model Taylor LaShea

Image my girl, Taylor LaShae and Text COPYRIGHT ©September 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

♒︎ The Ocean teaches us Love♒︎

“Something broken inside her moved the waves. If she spoke of it, the power would vanish. And I just think it’s magical the way love refuses to be captured.” -Sarah

“Something broken inside her moved the waves. If she spoke of it, the power would vanish. And I just think it’s magical the way love refuses to be captured.” -Sarah

by Sarah K. Grundy

The ocean teaches us about love.
Breath and life pour into us without hesitation the instant we reach where the sea meets the shoreline.
The waves kiss our toes sending a chill up our spine,
while extracting the pain from our wounds.
The sea hears us,
with a drenched, longing soul,
and wants to know all of our secrets.
Just when we begin to embrace
the rush that comes from
the ancient, salty medicine
penetrating our DNA,
ride the rhythm of the tides,
the waves splash through us,
cleansing us of unwanted ties.
If we’re lucky enough
to make it back to shore,
the faint whispers heard in a language all their own won’t soon be forgotten...

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©April 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

𓂀Brought back to shore𓂀

Lapis.jpg

by Sarah K. Grundy

When living on islands you are surrounded by a pure and magical protection that radiates off of the sea. It seems to snuggle you in its wings and waves and fix your crown.

Being back on dry land this year, the difference is astounding and undeniable. I thought for a moment, why don’t I just go back to sea? It’s there waiting for me. Then, I remembered, what about those who can’t.

Here I am, with you, “in it”, and not going anywhere, craving that island magic, just like you. And being “in it”, has me thinking…

It feels off hearing so much about being empowered enough to block those who try to rise against us, or offend our energies in some way, from our social media and virtual networks, as if that is more powerful than the energy that connects us.

Energy knows no bounds. Everything is energy. Energy is everything.

It feels important to learn the real deal, deep down in the dirt and clouds, powers of protection, the universe has gifted us all. Harnessing those beautiful energies filled with the wonders of darkness and light, oozing with the deliciousness of the divine - feminine and masculine, and shielding ourselves, and the ones we love with it.

If you are on an island, surrounded by the majestic sea waters, if you did not know already, you are protected. If not, those with lower vibrations who do not honor boundaries, truth, or respect the laws of nature are around us and as we grow more powerful, sadly you may find yourself under attack, so to speak. It may also be a matter of shielding yourself from controlling people, certain thoughts, or even haunting memories that just aren’t serving you, or aren’t great for your beautiful evolving self right now.

Learning those innate powers of protection are a thing of great natural beauty. I believe deeply that we are above all magical beings, and our human beings are a house for that to flourish, or not. It is up to us to decide. Just as it is up to us to heal in our own way on our own time.

Here are a few ways I like to grow my wings and train them to protect myself and my loved ones:

Mantras, simple chants that are all your own are pure love in delivering the powers of protection. If you sit with yourself, they will come to you. This morning these helped me. I often say the mantras with both, “me” and “we” to include those I love.

I am protected by the powers of darkness and light. My wings surround me.

I am shielded. I am safe. I am protected by the universe. May the magic of my heart surround us, as the sacred fire shields us.

These loving words, while visualizing the actions, and my highest self really seemed to have a ripple effect.

Rituals, candles of black, pink, green, white and blue, burning sacred smoke like palo santo or sage, botanical oils, gems from all around the world like sea shells, rock formations + sediments from the ocean /near the oceans / in the sands, amethyst, lapis, atlantisite, larimar, rose quartz, quartz, pink amethyst, K2, black tourmaline, pink tourmaline, blood stone, amazonite, red aragonite, Auralite (auralite 23 and emerald auralite), emerald, lemurian seed, calcite, aragonite, raw citrine (not heat treated), top secret ones and others are potent teachers of protection. The gems that call to you are the ones you need.

Listen to your heart, always, despite what I say in my romantic thriller novel. It is fiction after all.

Movement married with breath, dance, allow breath to take you, sun salutations, and moving from your heart are powerful tools of magic.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to move, how to breathe, or how to heal. These have been some of the powerful tools for me as I begin creating a more bountiful, protective energy field around me full of love, gorgeous dark, bright light, wings of grace and sacred fire.

Don’t let anyone tell you how it works best for you, not this blog, not anything, or anyone! You are your own guru, your own psychic, your own teacher, your own shaman. Work in unison with others, vibrate together, “listen” to one another, love one another, but do not give your power away to anyone, or dim your light, or fires.

It serves none.

You are the only one who “knows.” It is within you. There is a magic within you and there lives your healing, your destiny and your contribution.

Cheers to Sovereignty.

Listen to your heart and fuck everything else.

I love you.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

être l'amour: lotus flower universe

AfterlightImage (17).jpg

by Sarah K. Grundy

An emptiness and sadness has been bubbling up from deep within. Yet, as I type this the clock reads, 2:22 pm, sending me hope through numerology - ‘do not worry, all things are as they should be.’ At 12:12 pm and 12:12 am, my eyes are drawn to see the clock strike - ‘you are waking up your Merkaba, baby all things are happening harmoniously.’ It’s 5:55 pm and the feeling of something big on the horizon is undeniable. I fall into the messages like a wave that has over powered me and believe that I am doing the right things.

Collectively there is a sorrow. How could people be so horrible over and over again. There is a craving for things to be the way they were, sweet and pure with a fiery gentleness. Yet, you dream, ‘maybe I will ride a horse today instead of drive a car, or get that bicycle I saw with a basket on it and that will be my new ride forevermore, or maybe I will meet someone on the street who feels like Christmas morning and they will be true.’

From the tears that sting your eyes, comes the medicine to heal your wounds, and yet none hold the sweet taste of revenge, which seems to fit the crimes.

Things just do not feel right. A nagging tug at your heart strings keep whispering, “do something more, it is your destiny, you must…” and the words fade leaving you unsure and needing to further explore just what you must.

What does the universe want you to do next? Will you be bold enough to listen? If you are not strong enough to be bold, will you do it anyway?

There’s a feeling of loss in the air and like when a thief in the night makes off with your joy, you wake up wondering why you let the thief get away with it, and if revenge is the balance.

I breathe in the chemicals instead of salty air and sense with every fiber the horror within humanity, woven through a deep, dark history. It is in every stone, bit of moss, and towering piece of architecture around me here in this concrete jungle. The ancient trees tower overhead and echo with wars won and lost, blood shed and injustices, and no salty waters ever washed over them.

There’s a death in the air on these original battle grounds and it’s sure to wake you eyes wide open.

Yet, here I am, remembering how I got to this place on the winds of a deadly tropical storm, feeling everything. I walk the cobble stone streets in reverence of a highly developed lotus flower universe right between my legs, unharmed despite yet another lost love here on these streets where only the dead roam.

My petals are scarring here, wilting and resisting the toxins, crying to take flight freely in fields of green once again. I can see it in the texture of my hair, in the coloring in the whites of my eyes and I can feel it in every breath I take; I guess I am a warrior now and what was once soft is now hard.

It’s like the thief in the night took my softness, my gentleness and I long for her dewy, misty petals once again. Sirens sounding outside my window remind me there are decisions to be made, plans executed and time is not waiting, yet I’m still healing. “The divine never promised to be soft, but rather fierce…,” I hear whispering to me on the wings of the cool winds blowing in from the east through my window.

There’s no sea to extract the pain each morning now. I’ve got to carry her with me and do like the ocean waves taught me all those years on the water. She shows no mercy in the face of removing what does not belong. She moves quietly and seductively captivating all in her path. Her salty waters act as an astringent for poison and inject magic into everything she touches. The sea plunders and devours without a second thought returning all as it once was and as it should be.

“Oh how I want to have her strength right now, again,” I moan to myself as I slither weakly into Dandasana chaturanga. As the words leave my lips and the flow shivers through my hips, I remember the gift the ocean bestowed upon me, and how once I could move the ocean waves with something broken inside me. It was my broken pieces…

“Something broken inside her moved the waves. If she spoke of it, the power would vanish. And I just think it’s magical the way love refuses to be captured.”

-être l'amour, the lotus flower will always blossom, Sarah, xoxo

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

The Ocean teaches us Love♒︎

by Sarah K. Grundy

The ocean teaches us about love.

Breath and life pour into us without hesitation the instant we reach where the sea meets the shoreline.
The waves kiss our toes sending a chill up our spine, while extracting the pain from our wounds.
The sea hears us with a drenched, longing soul and wants to know all of our secrets.
Just when we begin to embrace the rush that comes from the ancient, salty medicine penetrating our DNA, ride the rhythm of the tides, the waves splash through us, cleansing us of unwanted ties.
If we’re lucky enough to make it back to shore, the faint whispers heard in a language all their own won’t soon be forgotten and before you know it, you’ll be back at sea again.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©April 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Haunted at Sea♒︎

by Sarah K. Grundy

When the wind blows you wash over me from wherever you are and touch me through the rays of the sun. When my heart calls out to you silently, shivering, you hear. That I can’t resist trusting.
If you’re going into the deep blue sea never to return, I’m going too.
If you’re slaying dragons, I’m getting my shield and sword.
When you’re cast out to where there are only the echoes of nature and souls, you’ll feel me with you and I will find you.

⎈S a l t ⎈
In our real world’s I believe each one of us is living out a deeply private love story. One with valley’s, ravines, dungeons, dragons 🐉 underworld’s, fiery passions and warfare. There are giant vines like the ones my family and I’d swing on as kids. (Tarzan + Jane are so hot.)
If we’re running from these love stories, we’ve been getting a very good workout.
Seemingly insurmountable mountains, hills, rocky trails and caverns for hiding when we may be under attack from ex lovers, or feel like we are from current ones.


None of love comes into focus with thoughts or common sense. It’s infuriating. 💛✨Love is the wildest jungle there is, and where the only magic we have lives safe and sound.💛✨ In order to keep writing my first book, besides listening to the voice of the ocean, I’m needing to follow the course of my own love story to even think of developing these characters. As suspected, it’s linked to absolutely everything else in life.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©April 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Free and fleeing⎈

IMG_9927.JPG

by Sarah K. Grundy

I couldn’t think of a more joyous time in my life.

When was the last time only the raw sounds of the wild woke you at 5 AM? When was the last time you had no WIFI for days, maybe weeks, but were more connected than ever? When was the last time you surfed, or swam in the sea every morning and stared at the stars each night? Where was the last place that fell over you with such peace, it melted you instantly and all you could hear was the sound of your own heart beat? When was the last time everything felt just as it should?

Fed on neat little morality slogans and education that spends time as if you didn’t have so little, life can become a place where you convince yourself that you’re happy. Day after day after day, talking yourself into staying with what seems like comfort, or pain that’s become comfortable. Relationships, homes, jobs, good food and friends, that’s enough right?

I wanted it to be enough.

Until one day you get a taste of real joy and suddenly know you’ve been lying to yourself all the while. A fleeting moment, perhaps on a wave you share with a dolphin surfing for the pure fun of it, or the thrill of your first big climb and suddenly you know there’s more.

You would think it’d be lonely in the jungles, lost at sea without any real home, but in fact it’s the noise that rings loudly with an emptiness. It’s so lonely.

So much noise.

So much stuff.

And yet nothing.

Writing this here and now as a vow to return to that place of pure joy. Not just in fleeting moments only to return to a home that is not a life come Monday morning, but to be free and fleeing once again.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Phantoms in the Opera⎈

AfterlightImage (11).jpg

by Sarah K. Grundy

I see you peeking at me through my window,  wondering if the light you see in me is real. A storm started at sea, placed me in proximity, to see why in shadows you hide. 

You took what was mine to give with your lies, and didn’t know true love shatters fake love, or that it’s in your heart the true distortion lies.

Words whispered through prison bars lose their charm. It’s over now, the music of the night.

Trust is a difficult thing, but trusting your heart is the riskiest path of all. In the end, the only person we can truly trust is ourselves, and when that is stolen from us, all that’s left is revenge.

This is not a story about happy endings.

⎈S A L T, the novel underway by Sarah K. Grundy

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Apparently Walt Whitman also said these words. I felt them too, Walt.

Apparently Walt Whitman also said these words. I felt them too, Walt.

mortal vindication: naked on cashmere

“You feel right to me she said, like naked on cashmere.”  Atticus Poetry

“You feel right to me she said, like naked on cashmere.” Atticus Poetry

Sometimes love sinks in so deep, we can’t explain it, but we’re drawn to it and when it becomes betrayal you have two options, forgiveness, or mortal vindication.

This is not a story about happy endings.

⎈S A L T, the novel underway by Sarah K. Grundy

Atticus, The Goddess Circle, Mazeylotus, Billabong Womens

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS