Free and fleeing⎈

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by Sarah K. Grundy

I couldn’t think of a more joyous time in my life.

When was the last time only the raw sounds of the wild woke you at 5 AM? When was the last time you had no WIFI for days, maybe weeks, but were more connected than ever? When was the last time you surfed, or swam in the sea every morning and stared at the stars each night? Where was the last place that fell over you with such peace, it melted you instantly and all you could hear was the sound of your own heart beat? When was the last time everything felt just as it should?

Fed on neat little morality slogans and education that spends time as if you didn’t have so little, life can become a place where you convince yourself that you’re happy. Day after day after day, talking yourself into staying with what seems like comfort, or pain that’s become comfortable. Relationships, homes, jobs, good food and friends, that’s enough right?

I wanted it to be enough.

Until one day you get a taste of real joy and suddenly know you’ve been lying to yourself all the while. A fleeting moment, perhaps on a wave you share with a dolphin surfing for the pure fun of it, or the thrill of your first big climb and suddenly you know there’s more.

You would think it’d be lonely in the jungles, lost at sea without any real home, but in fact it’s the noise that rings loudly with an emptiness. It’s so lonely.

So much noise.

So much stuff.

And yet nothing.

Writing this here and now as a vow to return to that place of pure joy. Not just in fleeting moments only to return to a home that is not a life come Monday morning, but to be free and fleeing once again.

Phantoms in the Opera⎈

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by Sarah K. Grundy

I see you peeking at me through my window,  wondering if the light you see in me is real. A storm started at sea, placed me in proximity, to see why in shadows you hide. 

You took what was mine to give with your lies, and didn’t know true love shatters fake love, or that it’s in your heart the true distortion lies.

Words whispered through prison bars lose their charm. It’s over now, the music of the night.

The riskiest path to follow is your heart because in the end, the only one you can trust is yourself.

This is not a story about happy endings.

⎈S A L T, the novel underway by Sarah K. Grundy

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Betrayal: The Impostor⎈

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by Sarah K. Grundy

The scars left by the worst kind of betrayal are seen in a loss of your ability to trust yourself. You no longer know truth from lies, fact from fiction, or good from bad. It has been stolen from you. If you can find a way to forgive yourself, you may be able to return the pain that was never yours, take back your love and rebuild.

The betrayer is an impostor. They portray those meant to be in your life. The design of an impostor is to enter at your most powerful points, while caressing your weakest. Your humanity, love, tenderness, innocence, pleasure points, your keen feminine and masculine senses all become a gateway for the impostor.

When deception cuts this deep, it can take everything from you and all you have left is revenge.

This is not a story about happy endings.

⎈S A L T, the novel underway by Sarah K. Grundy

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Pulled Out to Sea 2: Adventure⎈

The view from our last castle on the water after 2 years of traveling with the seas in their off season.

by Sarah K. Grundy

⎈Few things in life bring as much empowerment as adventure.

Adventure calls to you. It feeds your soul.

It awakens something deep within. It lights a fire in your heart.

These are the ultimate’s in self-care.

With adventure comes an intensity, a virility that will circulate into every area of your life. Blood flowing, pulse racing, sweat dripping, adrenaline assisting the need for speed, survival, or temperance. It regulates. It will depend on what corner you’re taking and how fast you’re going at the time, but adventure will feed the need.

When you are at the precipice, you may want to stop.

Do not stop.

Once the journey shows you how big life can be, going back to playing small is not an option, no matter how scary it gets you must go forward at whatever pace keeps you moving from the heart.

The deeper into your adventure you get the more you will gain, the more you will lose, the more you will see, the more you will live.

You will crave life. You will feel deeply how much you deserve living it fully. You develop instincts and a sharpness revealing how well you are designed for living life to the fullest. There's no turning back once you start the wheels of true living turning. You keep moving, terrified, excited, chanting to yourself, “movement is life, movement is life. I am powerful.” Even if looking backwards trips you, you do not give up.

You heal.

Your feelings of self worth increase.

You become more of who you were meant to be.

The adventure takes you closer to what you desire, to your destiny. The more intense it gets the less you will want to give up, and the less you will want to go backwards. That terrain simply will not be present any longer.

You have elevated.

You’re vibrating higher.

Tools become a life line; Self Care on Fleek, powerful gemstones from the deep sea, lost sea, mountains and all over the globe, deep inhales and exhales, fitness, tending to your depths & flames, stretching out the kinks, listening to your body, finding your magical powers, clearing away anyone and anything that may be stinking up your life or “sucking your blood,“ getting rid of liars and fake love, breathing in nature, meditation, high vibe food and liquid, using your voice, knowing your worth, advanced medical modalities and all the things you deserve become your greatest tools towards your next adventure and towards your destiny.

Adventure is here to remind you who the fuck you are and how much you deserve to live your life on your terms, free from harm, free from doing harm, free, taking no prisoners, and taking no shit. Before you know it - it all begins to get really big, somewhat fuzzy, buzzy and has officially grown a life and heartbeat of its own. You will not be able to stop this beautiful journey and neither can anyone else. It’s alive, powerful and yours to share with who you choose. No one will be able to take it from you, but they will try.

The signs and an undeniable force carry you to your adventure. You will find the hidden messages you seek in that journey.

What adventure causes us to gain and lose is important; Painful, enigmatically fucking gorgeous and agonizingly painful. Gaining clarity of self and purpose, truth and purity is a powerful love. It’s well worth fighting for, and well worth the adventure.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT ©August 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Chasing the Sea⎈

by Sarah K. Grundy

The energy of a wave during a storm equals 10,000 nuclear bombs.

The sea rules us. 

Its forces are so much bigger than us.

For the past three months, I've been unable to go in the ocean water. Even being near the sea caused me to become ill for days at a time. Outside my door, the cure-all aroma of salty sea air filling my lungs with rebirth, beautifying my face with its mist was replaced with a neuro-toxin coming from the oceans cry for help. 

There's so much left to discover about the ocean and its inhabitants. 

The sea brings us to another world.  

For many of us, the ocean and surrounding sands are our own private church, temple, or sacred space. 

For the past three years, I've witnessed pristine oceans, surrounding a multitude of small, remote, somewhat unheard of islands turn into sewage right before my eyes and the animals inside lay waste at the hands of preventable abuse.  The female character Morgan in my new book developed into a champion on the topic of marine biology and the state of our oceans, as a direct result of my experience and research that followed. It seems remote for many of us, yet the sea spreads across over 71% of the earth's surface, while we sit on a wee mass of under 30%. The ocean holds 97% of the earths water.

The salty sediments within the sea hold the story of our origins, as well as determine our trajectory.

Its outcome is ours for better, or for worse.

Containing coral reefs that hold our ability to exist in its salty hands, as well as cancer cures, it's not a situation where the ocean can die and we will survive. It just doesn't work like that.

The ocean will forever be intrinsic to our survival. 

Surrendering to it the only option. 

The big blue's force will always be greater and resisting her remains futile. 

Coral reefs, "the rainforest of the sea" or lungs of the earth can now be found as rotting skeleton and tissue. The rest glowing with an iridescent self-made radiant chemical sunscreen to protect themselves from their deteriorating environment. The most broken of our civilization can be found as we speak slaying whales and dolphins, the parts of the sea designed to nurture, protect and guide us.

Dave Rastovich, myself and countless other surfers have been rescued by dolphins from near drownings. After swimming and surfing with dolphins, feeling the deep echo vibration within from a whales song their majesty leaves no questions and honoring that is what makes us human. 

The transformation to restore has already begun and won't be stopped, but rather grow stronger like the tides.

The sea will do as it always does, reflect everything back to us, even our weakest link. 

Some say humanity is oblivious and although it's tempting to agree at times, I don't buy it. When we believe we are powerless, worthless and meaningless it directly impacts the way we live our lives, how we treat ourselves, others and the world around us.

That's why the ocean is dying.

It's mirroring the current status of our collective human spirit. 

It's our own existence we're struggling to feel worthy of currently.

After something challenging happens everything changes and within those layers of courage and fear lives something valuable. I see more people surrendering and shining their light. I believe in all of us to continue to lift ourselves to higher ground. 

The ocean that soothes our pain leaves a lasting memory.

It’s the moon and her cycles that create the daily advance and retreat of ocean waves.

The energy of the wave stops at the shoreline, after interacting deeply with the atmosphere to become a wave.

Go visit her in private, in silence to remember who you are and do one thing to protect her. Pick up any trash you see while you're spending time with the ocean, support her champions and those defending the precious life inside of her, replace single-use plastic with reusable materials, always consider what you discard and how, consider the ground you walk upon as holy and think for a moment about how you treat it, walk instead of drive, think of what you wear, sleep on and put inside your body, become a positive part of the solution rather than fueling negativity further, and keep the sea forever in your heart.

Carry the sea with you wherever you go.

Sources: let my people go surfing by Patagonia CEO and founder Yvon Chouinard, The Ocean Agency, Chasing Coral, Fish People, Surfers For Cetaceans, Minds in the Water, Surfer Mag, Billabong, Surf Dads Blog, Plastic Free July, Kali Ma, Three Stones From the Sun, The Goddess Circle, Sea Shepards

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © December 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

Pulled Out to Sea 1: Living⎈

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by Sarah K. Grundy

A protective force pulls us out to sea.

We are being called home.

“I really don't know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it's because in addition to the fact that the sea changes, and the light changes, and ships change, it's because we all came from the sea. And it is an interesting biological fact that all of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea - whether it is to sail or to watch it - we are going back from whence we came." John F Kennedy

The ocean returns us to our origins.

The sea shows us who we truly are inside.

The universe is so present and in tune in the sounds of the sea, that even a passing thought can be heard, felt, understood and manifest without much more than a breath of belief. Something mystical walks with you on an island surrounded by the ocean.

Echoes of the deep sea sharing her stories…

Manifestation comes alive on islands specifically. I don’t know why, but it’s one of those things that has always been. I actually don't do "intentions." There’s this rhythm to life and I get on and ride it as much as I possibly can - a free fall into trust. Living from the heart. The sound of your heartbeat speaks to you with messages and directions straight from the divine.

Listen.

Trust that even if you fall you can always rise again.

A loud "get out of here for awhile," echoing in my head one sleepless night in Washington Square West, Philadelphia led me to a three year journey of discovering unusual places and unsuspecting islands. I crave health, sea air and serenity; Deep breaths of clean, salty, dewy air in my lungs and more space for magic to thrive, muscles to awaken and life to be born.

Life is living in giant tents on the beach for days, driving jeeps way too close to the shore breaks, with surf boards and fishing poles in the back bouncing, crashing with the waves. Catching your dinner with a spiritual reverence, surfing with dolphins and thanking the earth for providing you with everything you need to survive and feel alive again.

Sunrise to sunset. Repeat.

This is living.

You can taste life at its peak.

You can smell it.

There is no turning back.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © July 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

Work Out With Surfer Girl Alana Blanchard

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by Sarah K. Grundy

Did you know my favorite surfer girl is Alana Blanchard? She's just badass, grew up in Hawaii, was home schooled, surfs beautifully and has since she was a kid. She speaks and lives like a woman after my own heart.

I love simplicity. Outdoor workouts that take me places, that I can do anywhere, anytime are what gets me stoked.

Alana showed us 10 simple moves for booty gains and booty gains are core gains if you’re doing it correctly.

Alana's quickie went like this (see below) We'll call it "The Surfer Girl Booty Gains Workout”:

1. High Knees, "Keep Your Core in" Alana says.

2. Jump Squats, or just squats without the jumping, "Squeeze Your Butt" Alana says.

3. Mountain Climbers

4. Burpees

5. Jump Lunges

6. Normal Squats

7. High Knees Plus Add 5 Tuck Jumps in between.

8. Plank and Knees to Elbow (this can be done from downward dog also)

9. IN and OUT squats (light leap up, land softly knees together, knees apart)

10. Push Up Burpees with a Jump

Alana suggests, 10 Rounds, 30 seconds on, 10 seconds off.

Download an interval timer app onto your phone and so that you stick to the times and push yourself.

If your knees bite back, don't do the jumps, but still do the movements with a lot of emphasis on your core, form and focusing on what your body is working on, generating more strength to the areas that need it and around areas that need it.

If you want to increase the strength training aspect add weights.

Try 5 minutes on 1 minute off and doing a total of 30 minutes 5 days per week with 2 rest days. 

My fitness journey took a turn when I got my dads surf board from my brother's garage and started to learn to surf. It gave purpose for getting strong.

It helps to have a goal in mind, something tangible to push us to our best selves. Something in me just must ride my daddy Dean's board and that nostalgic force continues to empower me.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © July 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

△ Oat Milk in 3 Steps ▽࿊

Photo taken and edited by my daughter Lulu at Good Karma cafe in Society Hill

by Sarah K. Grundy

Smooth me over with oat milk + espresso. Topped with cardamom & cinnamon and you are sure to at least get a smile. Hugs for sure if you surprise me with something new on top. Espresso + oat milk = magic and healing buzzing through you todos los dias.

Make your own oat milk with 3 simple steps:

3 cups of water + 1 cup of oats

blend in the blender for 30 seconds

strain (and save the remains for pancakes later)

Reuse an old jar to store it in the fridge. Add cinnamon, vanilla, ginger, cardamom, maple syrup and blend for 30 more seconds to jazz it up, or you can do that when making the coffee.

Oat milk is a great replacement for creamer and serves as some of the most nutrient dense fuel you can consume. Known scientifically as, Avena sativa take a look at the profile inside this power house and most of all - you will feel it! Excellent for my fellow Hashimotos and thyroid fam.

  • Manganese

  • Phosphorus

  • Magnesium

  • Copper

  • Iron

  • Zinc

  • Folate

  • Vitamin B1 (thiamin)

  • Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid)

  • Smaller amounts of calcium, potassium, vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) and vitamin B3 (niacin)

The potency of oat health benefits can be seen in a supplement by Gaia Herbs called, Mood Uplift, which uses oats alongside St. Johns Wort, Passionflower, Vervain, Gotu Kola, Gingko and more. Emotional balance during times of stress, restoration periods, or a time of deep inner healing can be supported by oats and formulas that contain oats.

Oat milk, oat meal, oat tea with turmeric - however you want to get them, get them and lots of them. DIY Or Oatly.

Oats.

As always keep it clean and green - organic and sustainable packaging for both your health and the planets.

Sources: Healthline, Good Karma Cafe, Oatly, Amazon Fresh, Cherry Soy Milk, Sustainable Sabs , Gaia Mood Uplift


Image and Text COPYRIGHT © February 2019 MAZEYLOTUS

The Moon

“The Moon

The Moon symbolizes the Void,
the feminine darkness
and even our own deep forest.

When she is full,
flashes of truth
illuminate us on the Path.

When she has disappeared,
we must carry on with only 
our intuition to guide us.

Fear not, the tide always turns.
When the Moon is weighing on you,
there's a good chance that you are
being called to dive deeply and fully
into your unconscious and
the underworld and bring back
a treasure.” 
― Victoria Kray

▽ Minerals △ ࿊ ~<>•

by Sarah K. Grundy

Magnesium, the eighth most abundant mineral on earth, third in seawater, fourth in the human body is necessary in over 300 reactions within the body.

Every cell in the human body needs magnesium to function, or it won't. Strong bones, hair and teeth, balanced hormones, a healthy nervous and cardiovascular system, detoxification pathways all depend on cellular magnesium sufficiency.

Soft tissue containing the highest concentrations of magnesium in the body include the brain and the heart. Two organs that produce a large amount of electrical activity, and which can be especially vulnerable to magnesium insufficiency.

~<>• stay salty + divine

Sources: Salt Store, Billabong Womens, NIH, Dirty Lemon

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

Garden Gnomes & Wood Nymphs🍅 

photo by Lulu (my offspring)

photo by Lulu (my offspring)

by Sarah K. Grundy

Eating from the garden, food fresh from your own yard has changed you. This food has so much life.


Growing kale, mint, tomatoes, peppers, blueberries, strawberries 🍓 and some things yet to be determined in our new yard. I walk barefoot through the path, pluck our breakfast from the bushes, while inhaling oxygen, sunshine and water droplets. Sinking my fingers and toes in the dirt delivers me.

It restores your health and increases beauty to frolic through the leaves with the bees. Planting seeds to give back to the earth. Plant seeds everywhere, trail dirt in and out of the house.

Nature heals. It’s only fair to return the favor.

Sources: Sciencing, FAO

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

▽ Aids to the Divine △ ࿊

by Sarah K. Grundy

“Fasting is the first principle of medicine; fast and see the strength of the spirit reveal itself." 〰️Rumi

Fast from food and fuel with minerals, gems, botanicals, argon oil, tea, rose water, pink Himalayan, naked contact with the earth, Spirulina or whatever calls to you.

Allow that space to be empty and fill it with love and nurturing of self.

Receiving.

Breathing out the bad. Breathing in the good.

Fast from electronics, social media, people and flood your cup with moonlight, lily pads, lotus flowers, wild moon energy, movement, flow, painting and whatever your body asks of you. 

Allow that space to be empty and fill it with love and nurturing of self.

Explore a large array of methods that cater to the feminine, that primal space within that’s always been calling your name. Detoxes with sophisticated pancakes and get cozy like in the womb of the sea to bring you closer to your most intuitive self. 

Stay open as you embody your purveyor of the goddess within⎈

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

▽ Skin Food △ ࿊ <>•

by Sarah K. Grundy

Nourish your body with the wonders of the earth. The skin is the largest organ of the body and what seeps into it determines who we are from the inside out. Surround yourself with nourishing vibrations. 

Sea salt and sand carry the energy of our origins are natural detoxifiers, which draw toxins out of the body and provide nutrients that leaves the skin glowing. 

Sea mist spraying off the ocean with the morning sun can not be packaged. Although one of the most potent bottled salt sprays in the world comes from ancient seabeds 2000 meters down. Still, dance with the big blue seas mist whenever possible.

~<>• stay salty + divine⎈

Sources: Ancient Minerals, Salt Store

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

<>• Fire breathing dragon food △ ࿊

by Sarah K. Grundy

Pitaya or Pitahaya is the fruit of several cactus species. It blooms to the full moon like women. The smell and taste reminds me of kiwi, yet I can sense the cactus component immediately. The seeds are rich in lipids, but only digestible when chewed. For how vibrant in appearance this hot pink beauty is, its taste is mild. Both the flesh & seeds are rich in omega's & fatty acids. Full of phytonutrients, antioxidants, B vitamins, carotene, protein, calcium, iron & phosphorous.

This S U P E R F O O D mentors our immune system and respiratory system health & strength. The phytochemical captin, used as medication for heart problems is found in the fruit itself. It helps flush our body of toxic heavy metals. Numerous studies were conducted on the fruit for its role in preventing prostate cancer, thanks to the lycopene. Lowers blood sugar & blood pressure. The fruit can also be found in yellow and red. Its fancy botanical name is Hylocereus undatus, indigenous to Central America.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

△ Stay Dirty️ ▽࿊

by Sarah K. Grundy

Once upon a time we spent more time being dirty. Rx: Staying kissed by sea foam, which is composed of the softest, fluffiest kiss you ever did feel as well as dissolved organic matter (including proteins, lignins and lipids) derived from sources such as the offshore breakdown of algal blooms, seaweed, marine plant life and more. 

B12, which many of us suffer from a lack of, is bacteria; Found in Sea Foam and Dirt on our veggies between our toes and in our nose. 

Autoimmune set in deep for me while living in concrete jungles, amidst an intense amount of fancy cleanliness, glorified and chronic stress. It was sexy at the time and what made me a “powerful woman,” but took a toll.

Stay Dirty.

Sources: NOAA, Beach Connection, Live Science, Peaceful Dumpling

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

The Feminine

Les Demoiselles d'Avignon 

Paris June - July, 1907

Pablo Picasso.

by Sarah K. Grundy

10/2018

The feminine has enraptured and enraged from the beginning of time. “The birth of Venus” by Botticelli, “La Fornarina,” by Raphael and Modigliani’s “Nu couche,” which sold for $170M recently permeate every culture; Yet not long ago women were given citations for wearing bikinis, could be arrested for having their nipples exposed and historical works of Gustav Klimt (among many others) have been destroyed because they included female nudity. It certainly made an impact for Lady Godiva, Countess of Mercia.

In many ways, 500 year old America seems to need raising to reach the maturity of 45,000 year old Europe, for example, and hiding won’t help matters. 

They are subtle some of the oppressions we allow because it feels normal, but the ripple effect is not.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

For the Ones Who want to have it All

Image: shot and edited by Mazeylotus

Image: shot and edited by Mazeylotus

by Sarah K. Grundy

Motherhood. I wish this was a parody, or narrative to the underlying meaning of a splendid, abstract art exhibit, but it's an autobiography and I'm not alone.

 I think women are lying when they say they wouldn't change anything if they had it to do all over again knowing what they know now. Of course we would and we'd do it way smarter ten times over and over if those chances existed. I don't believe we only get this one life. I have been here before and so have my children. Flesh just seems to help spirit manifest and keeps on going with, or without us. 

So, let's not pretend for the kid's sake, or to protect our precious ego or reputation. Let's instead get real and deeply honest. 

It makes my ass twitch when people far too attached and delusional say things like, "but if you went back and did it all again knowing what you know now, you wouldn't have x, y, or z."

No, I would not. 

I was that sister and friend talking people out of parenthood after I saw. Naturally, they ignored me as the call of the wild persists like a she-wolf after her prey.

When I say, “The world changed colors after bringing life,” that's literally what happened to me. I looked out the window and it was like I just woke up on a different planet. 

I saw. 

I saw and heard things I never knew existed before, but they were always there and isn’t there something terrifying about that reality? 

I saw. 

I saw the world for what it truly is and that's not child and family conducive most days, and in most ways, as I thought in my innocence. The world has changed from what it once was, but it's also not ‘the village’ they say it takes to raise a child anyway, your babies will want and cry for you.

Just you.

Daddy won't make the cut or the nanny. Neither of them smells like you, or have their milk in their breasts, or the heartbeat and vibe they knew for practically a year in your womb. 

It's you.

Just you. 

There will be no novel writing while they nap. No! So stop it.

You'll be laid out drooling, begging for sleep, or mercy until they wake you again. 

Even decades after they stop waking you up, your body will still be waiting for it to happen again like an old war wound from combat days and sleep will remain an elusive memory. 

Mine are teenagers. It's 2:30 AM as I write this wired from being needed to death for well over a decade. And I had help. Lots of help. That's a story for another time. 

My body knows sleeplessness, navigating emotions and deprivation on a soldier level. I had to learn how to train my circadian rhythm under highly undesirable circumstances in order to keep up with that 'having it all' lie, masquerade and charade. 

Lies. 

When you can sleep again, you'll stay up just to get time to yourself, and a glimpse of your self, your life, at whatever cost. 

That cost being delirium. 

It's not sexy.

It's not humorous.

It's serious like a heart attack and you will beg for death, but instead will get eternity. 

It's not like the movies; That fun satire, the rush of busy living and chasing the dream with your fancy stroller, heels and bouncing, gorgeous hair. No! 

There's diarrhea on your fancy stroller, crusty breast milk in your hair, and your feet are too swollen for your Jimmy Choos. 

Plus, you don't care because you're too fucking tired to do anything about it.

Don't trick yourself into believing it will be different for you. 

I did.

I was wrong. 

It's a horror show. 

Stop smelling peoples ugly, fat babies, watching those stupid commercials, reading the intoxicating magazines, and get real.

Don't engage in the seduction. 

Fight back against nature!

You wouldn't lay down and die in a tornado, would you? 

No! You evacuate. 

I saw. 

I saw what it took to raise magical humans in the current world and keep them that way.

Pure magic doesn't quite exist the same way now that your endless nights of pot smoking, gourmet meals laced with enchanted mushrooms, vintage wine drinking, fancy restaurants, diva dancing and mingling with intellectuals have come to an end.

No!

It's principals from the murky black lagoon and parent-teacher meetings with women who don't even like you at all who will be talking about you behind your back. 

It's endless years of snotty tissues and vomit is in your favorite Hermes purse that took you 8 years to buy. 

We can't fathom that while we're filled with a calling to create that dates back lifetimes, filled with love, hopes and dreams yet to be smashed to bits by motherhood and adult-onset ADD, which arrives just when you think it's almost over.

Plus, it will be different for you, right?

No!

It was a very small window of opportunity that made me a mother and it nearly did not happen at all, because I almost saw too much, before the children had the chance to get here through me. (All of them would have made it here with, or without me. They are powerful with a destiny about them!) 

They won.

I don't feel I was really made to be a mother. I mean let's keep it real, I love taking care of myself, privacy, adventure and having alone time way too much to be needed as much as you are as a mom. Don't you?

Freedom was my most cherished possession. 

The thing about motherhood is even when they're not there, they are and so that bond takes over if you let it. 

I saw. 

I saw what the world was capable of committing and who I'd have to become to protect them from it, and eventually who they would need to become to live as part of it. 

I saw. 

I saw overpopulation. The earth needs fewer children and more warriors right now. Better would have been getting a big scary guard dog, working out A LOT while learning self-defense and a few yogi superpowers to flip this crazy world right side up again.

What a fucking train wreck. How did we get here? Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

I saw. 

I saw that it was a selfish choice. The children without homes, the adults who've never known love and the amount of mothering this world needs on a grand scale weren't clear yet and had I known I would have been able to be more of service and chosen differently. 

I saw. 

I saw that it's either you have children, and that becomes your service, your mission, or you make a monumental shift in our beautifully handicapped world by fostering and mothering it, delivering a new creation to it, but not both. 

That's what we think before having kids. 'I can so totally do it all.' 

No, we can not. 

That is a lie. 

You will not like the end of that story. 

It will come heavily medicated. 

Do not let them tell you that lie. 

Do not tell yourself that lie. 

But, you will and you'll think I'm crazy, or that it will be different for you. 

Until it's not. 

So, yes, had I known then what I know now, I would do it all over again and thoroughly different. 

Would you? 

Advocate for speaking my fucking truth, raising warrior women, making the impossible possible and not glorifying it.

M xx

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © October 2018 MAZEYLOTUS

Lotus

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by Sarah K. Grundy

It's not like it seems in the fog. There's an entire horizon that was hiding behind the blur, the mask, the lies, the ego, the inflated realities.

To be where the divine lives that's where we can see.

We're never alone, not even in the isolation periods when we're exploring, discovering and finding our path. Traveling through time and space.

Wandering the past and uniting with the you of the future.

Mending beyond a cellular level that which was torn away and delivering it into the light. Connecting and trusting the unfolding, the becoming.

Welcoming the abundance.

Move like nature moves amidst the change.

Blossom.

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © August 2017 MAZEYLOTUS

Silence

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by Sarah K. Grundy

Nurture your relationship with Silence. 

It was here before anything else. 

It encompasses everything else.

It came Before Sound. 

It Takes you directly to your center.

Silence Links our soul with the cosmos.

We gain ourselves in Silence. 

Without it we are lost.

Here we find re-creation.

Everything comes alive again with Silence.

It Brings brand newness. 

Don't bury this secret in the noise. 

Return to Silence🕊

Image and Text COPYRIGHT © May 2016 MAZEYLOTUS